How could he? Why would he?

 

  Nathaniel Weatley…He is a very nice guy, has revolutionary ideas, takes good care of me, is pretty intelligent and wants to be a merchant. I like that he believes that everyone has the potential to be better. He is not like his sister Mary, (who is very mean) he is kind of the opposite.

 

  He thought I could learn, he “truly” did, that he even taught me. Now, I discover that all of that was jfor nothing. I can do whatever I want, but if I’m not free, I’ll always be Phillis, the slave, nothing else. 

 

  I feel betrayed, I thought he wanted me to be someone rather than no one. Turns out, I could never be anyone unless the Wheatleys free me, but I’m certain that Nathaniel and his family will never do so. They are just going to keep me forever, the African girl who learned to write and read, but just that. A girl the world forgot. Time will pass by, and no one is going to remember this poor, black, slave, girl. I’m not going to change anyone's life, no one is going to learn about me, or what I did. 

 

  Nathaniel thinks, he could prove something by teaching me to read, but if I’m just a slave, who no one will ever know, how could he prove something? He just taught a slave to read, but did the slave do anything else? Was the slave someone? No, she stayed at home, she never did anything important. What does he think he is going to prove if I never become someone? Just someone who learned to read, “someone”. That is pretty revolutionary… Actually, it is not, since I’m no one. He should know that if he wants to prove that anyone can learn, he should let me free. Then, I could be someone, and be the proof that everybody can do anything they want, that we’re all human beings, we’re all equal, we have equal capacities. 

 

  However, he doesn’t want that. He just wants to use me so he can prove to his father that anyone can do anything. Just that, just his father, he doesn’t care if I can show other slaves that they can do anything they desire. No, he’s just using me, as if I were a tool, for him to prove something! He’s been good and all, but that’s just so I can be foolish enough to let him teach me to read, knowing that it won’t change anything. He doesn’t want anything else. It was all an act, he’s just using me. 

I thought he cared about me, but no, he’s just a selfish white boy that only cares about himself, the rest of us, we’re doomed to his service. When I thought that these people could be good, could be different, they disappointed me. I have to learn to be less hopeful, even though I know hope is good, and somehow it kept me alive at the ship, I have to lower my expectations. I am never going to be anyone, unless they free me, which I know is not going to happen at all.