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Unrequited Love
When we hear the word love, we usually think of a beautiful feeling, if we are getting it or not, and if it exists. Love is a complex word that does not always mean something good, in fact, love is something that will always make us suffer because it involves our feelings, it makes us vulnerable to the world, to other people, and even to ourselves. We tend to believe that love is the bond that two or more people have with each other, that spark that makes us blush, that gives us butterflies in our stomachs, a spark that makes us fall in love. Unfortunately, love is not just a feeling between people, sometimes it is just the feeling towards a person that doesn’t feel the same way towards us. This is called unrequited love.
Unrequited love involves having strong romantic feelings toward another person who doesn’t feel the same way. It is a one-sided experience that can leave people with feelings of pain, grief, and shame. Unrequited love is not always easy to recognize, however, some signals may indicate that the love that you are experiencing is not mutual with the other person.
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First let’s talk about the types of unrequited love that exist, in total there are 4:
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Loving someone who doesn’t feel the same toward you
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Falling for someone that is taken
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The mutual attraction between two people that are both in different relationships
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Wanting an ex back after a breakup
These are the types of unrequited love that you can experience, but how do you recognize them? Here are some signals that may help you.
You reach out to connect:
When you are the only one trying to talk, see, and connect with the other person, this may be a signal that love is unrequited.
You long for physical touch:
If you find that you are always the one who initiates physical touch, or that when you try to connect physically you are met with some resistance or that the other person pulls away, it may be a sign that this is a one-sided desire.
You put the person on a pedestal:
Many times, in situations of unrequited love, one person holds the other on a pedestal, this means that the love interest is perceived as almost perfect, and any imperfections are easily explained. In non-corresponding love, healthy boundaries are rarely set.
Unrequited love sometimes can make you feel awful, it may give you a big trauma or some problems with self-esteem or self-trust, but even if everything feels bad for you, you can overcome the situation. The first step is to recognize that your love does not correspond, and yes it might hurt but it is better to be numb to that. After the acceptance, you can do different things to overcome your heartbreak, for example, taking time to grieve. This helps you to challenge those bad thoughts that tell you that you are not enough or that you are never going to get love.
If you are experiencing unrequited love I just want to tell you that it can be a hard healing process, but you need to be strong and not let this make you feel less. Everyone in this world deserves to love and be loved so don’t worry, the right person will come, and that horrifying feeling of the non-corresponding love will go away.
